he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
