Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
