So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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