More tranny stories later!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
