Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
