I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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