I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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