I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
