one word: firstdatebathroomanal
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
