I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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