I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
