in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
