My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
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Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.