So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again