Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.