Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.