He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"