was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..