We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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