Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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