I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize