sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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