this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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