toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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