yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize