my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
