Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
