Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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