You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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