I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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