Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize