I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
