Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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