if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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