His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize