Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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