Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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