Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
