yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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