I wish life had little blips of pornography
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
