my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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