If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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