I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
