I could have mohawked her pubes.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
