just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
