We won't sleep together?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize