Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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