Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
