just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
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Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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