I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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