Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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