If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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