just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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