Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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