Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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