I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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