well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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