I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
do herpes really smell.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
