The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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