Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
