somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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