god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
